Most of us have learned to believe some stress is both natural and necessary. One of the most powerful illusions (false beliefs), which keep us locked in a stressful lifestyle, is the idea that our stress is caused by circumstances, events and other people. As long as you think this way you will always be in self-created pain. Some people have been in pain for so long they cannot imagine being pain free, and real relaxation is a dim and distant memory. So they justify their pain as a natural part of living and then feel that others are a cause of this pain. This is dangerous. To listen to the messenger of pain means seeing and acknowledging our stress as our own creation. It is the result of how we respond to the uncontrollables in life i.e. circumstances, events and other people. No one else creates our responses.
If you can see and accept that you create your own stress according to how you are responding, you will then see that there is something you need to unlearn as well as learn. The old response needs to be unlearned, and a new positive response needs to be learned. The regular practice of meditation enables you to do that and become free from stress. If we want to change a habit, then where do we start? In other words, where do we change the system or how do we get out of the cycle? First of all, we can try changing our negative actions: for example, stop a negative habit like smoking. In many cases, although we change our behaviour, but because we have not understood deeply why we wanted to do it, is quite possible that one day we will go back to this old habit.
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