• Providing Emotional Support To Your Loved Ones

    What do we do when friends and loved ones come to us for, and expect emotional support from us? Spirituality teaches us the right technique of providing emotional support – the technique of detached involvement, which is the technique of not being overawed, of not being affected ourselves by the emotions of others. If a friend, colleague or any loved one is upset and we also get upset (because we love them – that’s what we normally say), we cannot provide them the necessary support or the assistance to see why they are reacting emotionally and how they might change the nature of their emotions by themselves. True love for someone would mean that I am able to provide them that. While being concerned is fine, but by becoming upset, seeing them upset simply aggravates the situation and adds fuel to their fire.

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  • The Power To Transform Emotions

    As with feelings, when emotions are aroused, there are physical changes inside the body in the form of chemical and electrical activity. In fact, strong emotions don’t just affect the body; they also have an impact on the soul. When the soul suffers emotional trauma, from which there is lasting impact, the emotional trauma brings about an immense strain on the brain and body. Brain chemical production is likely to be affected, and there may also be feelings of depression and tiredness. But the real trauma at the root of these physical effects is at a deeper level within the soul itself, and the resulting emotional sensitivity will also arise from the soul.

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  • Meditating With Open Eyes

    It is advised to practice meditation with eyes open. When we sit to meditate, if we close our eyes, what we do is that we send a signal to our mind, intellect and our physical body that sleep is close and that signal, in turn, induces sleep. That is the last thing we want to induce inside ourselves, while meditating. Meditation is a way to wake up and stay awake, not only physically, but in terms of being conscious and alert about what is happening internally and externally. It is therefore good to practice with eyes open, so that during your meditation, you can become used to going beyond the physical inputs of what you see, hear, feel and smell and at the same time, remain exposed to these inputs.

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  • Effects Of Anger On The Human Body

    In numerous studies, anger has been found to have a completely negative effect on our physical well-being. In one such study, reported at a recent conference on forgiveness and peace in the US, it was demonstrated that letting go of negative feelings that we have for someone due to his/her negative actions relieved and reduced chronic back pain.

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Fears And Dependencies In Relationships

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Relationships are a source of support for our life, or at least, they should be. Relationships should ideally be an exchange of happiness and love. Peaceful relationships are the foundation from where we create, generate and carry out shared endeavors (efforts). Thanks to cooperation, we achieve our objectives.


When people are asked about what the different causes of stress, worries and suffering are, one of the main answers is relationships. Relationships have become a cause of ties (bondage) and pain. Instead of trust it seems fear dominates in relationships. In a relationship of love - be it family, be it friendship - due to emotional weaknesses and a lack of self-esteem, in order to learn to love ourselves we need another person or people to value us, to appreciate us, to need us, to love us. Even so, we do not manage to learn to love ourselves and we continue to depend on and worry about the opinion of others, what others might say, think or feel about us. You fear the answer of others; you fear they might say something that hurts you. These fears arise out of the emotional dependence on this person or these people. And they (fears) prevent us from developing and expressing all our potential, meaning that we stop being ourselves and we fear sharing ourselves openly.

With dependency in relationships (as discussed yesterday) we enter into an energy of pleasing others so that they might continue to appreciate us. We base our self-esteem and personal security on the appreciation of these people. We stop acting in a natural, free and spontaneous way because we are worried about pleasing the one from whom we are taking mental, emotional or physical support.

Into this energy of dependence enters fear: fear of losing the support of that person, fear they will get angry, fear that they might not like us any more, fear that they might reject us, etc. That fear is a signal that warns us of our emotional weaknesses and of our lack of self-esteem. Fear brings on a greater inner insecurity, which makes us carry on holding on to that dependence.

There are people who, after entering into a energy of dependence and suffering because of it, leave that relationship with the objective of freeing themselves from the pain it brings about in them. Then they begin another relationship, where they generate the same energy. The solution is not in a change of relationship with another person, although on occasions that might help us. If we don't change this energy internally and if we don't learn to have a solid base of self-esteem, we will continue to depend on the appreciation and affection of others in order to appreciate and love ourselves.

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