What do we do when friends and loved ones come to us for, and expect emotional support from us? Spirituality teaches us the right technique of providing emotional support – the technique of detached involvement, which is the technique of not being overawed, of not being affected ourselves by the emotions of others. If a friend, colleague or any loved one is upset and we also get upset (because we love them – that’s what we normally say), we cannot provide them the necessary support or the assistance to see why they are reacting emotionally and how they might change the nature of their emotions by themselves. True love for someone would mean that I am able to provide them that. While being concerned is fine, but by becoming upset, seeing them upset simply aggravates the situation and adds fuel to their fire.
As with feelings, when emotions are aroused, there are physical changes inside the body in the form of chemical and electrical activity. In fact, strong emotions don’t just affect the body; they also have an impact on the soul. When the soul suffers emotional trauma, from which there is lasting impact, the emotional trauma brings about an immense strain on the brain and body. Brain chemical production is likely to be affected, and there may also be feelings of depression and tiredness. But the real trauma at the root of these physical effects is at a deeper level within the soul itself, and the resulting emotional sensitivity will also arise from the soul.
It is advised to practice meditation with eyes open. When we sit to meditate, if we close our eyes, what we do is that we send a signal to our mind, intellect and our physical body that sleep is close and that signal, in turn, induces sleep. That is the last thing we want to induce inside ourselves, while meditating. Meditation is a way to wake up and stay awake, not only physically, but in terms of being conscious and alert about what is happening internally and externally. It is therefore good to practice with eyes open, so that during your meditation, you can become used to going beyond the physical inputs of what you see, hear, feel and smell and at the same time, remain exposed to these inputs.
In numerous studies, anger has been found to have a completely negative effect on our physical well-being. In one such study, reported at a recent conference on forgiveness and peace in the US, it was demonstrated that letting go of negative feelings that we have for someone due to his/her negative actions relieved and reduced chronic back pain.
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